That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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