We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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