Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's rum buckets o'clock
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
