Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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