watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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