It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We were destined to go to rehab together
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
