Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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