Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
