in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
