Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
