you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I checked into jail on foursquare
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
You're right, stupid question.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.