remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
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there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made