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In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?