My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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