That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
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