That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize