my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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