well you can't waste a boner
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
