I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
if only i could text you this smell
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
