i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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