Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
