I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
birth control should be required to get into college
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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