And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
