so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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