The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You did what with his pubic hair?
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