I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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