Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I want her autograph on my taint
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
