More tranny stories later!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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