ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
