We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
