I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize