she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize