Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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