did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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