How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
