We're like a lot better than the average bears
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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