You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Dicks are not precious.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
