Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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