The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
