Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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