so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
