Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
