if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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