some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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