I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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