your room smells of hookers.
And success
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize