There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
