Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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