We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
