i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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