Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
