You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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