im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
