I feel great
I just peed on a car
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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