I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
