i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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