some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Randomize
