There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
