i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
