yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
