Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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