Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
