dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
