Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
