Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
